The Journal of Sam Winchester

(not Sammy)

i'm slowly catching up
Sam Winchester psychic_wonder
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Peter's Apt, NYC, Sunday Afternoon
While everyone else had been preparing for a week in the Bahamas, Sam had been getting ready for something else entirely. It was one thing to let himself get distracted with classes, and clubs, and the play - those were his responsibilities, and Peter had always liked that Sam was a responsible person. But spring break was a different story. There was no way Sam could justify going on vacation when Peter was still missing, and having time off from school gave him the perfect opportunity to book a portal and go to Peter's world instead. As useful as being in Fandom was sometimes, Sam was pretty sure he'd exhausted every avenue of searching he could get from there.

The first place Sam wanted to look for clues to Peter's disappearance was Peter's apartment, and luckily, he had a key. As he made his way into the building, Sam couldn't help but smile as he remembered how Peter had given him the key, just handing it to him without any warning, without fanfare, like it wasn't a big deal to say "Here, this is my space and now it's yours too, whenever you want it to be." That was just the way Peter did things, and the stinging sensation that memory created in Sam's chest was a reminder of how important it was to find Peter, no matter what he had to do. Even if he didn't find anything in the apartment, Sam was glad that he didn't have to worry about finding a place to sleep while he was here, and surrounding himself with Peter's things would definitely fuel his guilt complex his searching.

Sam unlocked the door and went inside, closing and relocking the door behind himself. It wasn't until he turned around that he realized he wasn't alone, and all he could do was stare in disbelief.

[For one!]

When Nathan had woken up in the hospital what he'd known was that he was in a hospital, and that somehow he had healed. Talking to Angela had lead nowhere as she'd had no idea either. Her advice was to take things for the blessing that they were and move on.

Nathan had one problem with that. He didn't have Peter.

Angela said he was dead. Nathan wasn't willing to accept that. Peter being dead meant that Nathan hadn't saved his little brother. Nathan knew he let Peter down on a lot of things, but this could not be one of them.

Angela wanted a clean break. She wanted to sell Peter's apartment and move on, already talking about how the tale of Nathan Petrelli's dead brother could factor into his next political campaign.

Nathan had said something very rude to his mother, and moved into Peter's apartment in order to make sure neither she nor anyone working for her touched a damn thing.

Nathan couldn't say for certain if it was optimism or denial that kept him camped out on Peter's couch, downing scotch after scotch in the useless hope that doing so would chase his few memories of the past months away, and caring very little for things like business, family, or even grooming hence the birds living in his beard. He just knew this was what he was capable of doing right now, so he did it.

He was content to keep on doing it when Sam showed up.

Nathan stared at Sam, completely unable to figure out if Sam was actually there, or if he was just one of Nathan's hallucinations. Frankly he didn't know which one he preferred.

To be honest, Sam wasn't entirely certain that Nathan was real either. Peter's death had equaled Nathan's death until Isabel had said otherwise, but there was hearing her talk about him over the phone, and there was seeing Nathan for himself, alive and well - for values of well that included intoxicated and overly hairy, but alive nonetheless.

"Hi," he finally said. That seemed like a good place to start after three and a half months.

"Sam?" Nathan replied. He kept staring, on the odd chance that would clarify if Sam was real or not.

"Yeah, I--hi," he said again as he went over to Nathan. "Wow. It's really good to see you."

Okay none of Nathan's hallucinations would say something like that.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm looking for Peter," Sam said, shaking his head when he realized how that sounded. "Not here, I mean, but in general, in this world. What are you doing here?"

"Didn't they tell you?" Nathan asked, his voice dry with irony. "He died."

"He's not dead yet," Sam said, almost automatically. "He's just missing."

That got Nathan's attention. Mostly because deep down he felt the same thing. "What do you know?"

"Isabel. She dreamwalked to Peter like she did to you. He couldn't have been dreaming if he wasn't alive." Realizing something, Sam frowned. "No one told you he might be alive?"

"I haven't been talking to many people," Nathan admitted. He tried to parse what Sam was saying. He couldn't remember a dreamwalk, but he'd been trying hard to forget his dreams.

"Yeah, I had a hunch about that. Did you get my message?" Sam asked. "I tried to call your cell, to tell you I was coming to New York. I would have called here if I'd known you'd be here."

"I wouldn't have answered," Nathan told him. He couldn't remember where his phone even was at the moment. "Peter's alive? Really? Not in some screwed-up Fandom way?"

"He...I think so," Sam said, trying to convince Nathan as much as himself. "Isabel found him with her dreams, but she hasn't been able to find him again in a little while. We don't know what's happened to him, but she says he's still alive, and I have every reason to believe her."

"Out where?" Nathan asked, a note of urgency creeping into his voice. He didn't like it, but this was what happened when he went for booze over self-control. "Where is he?"

"I don't know," Sam admitted. "Neither of us do. I've been trying to track him down, but I haven't gotten anywhere. I thought maybe you might know where he'd go, if for whatever stupid reason he didn't want to be found."

"Usually when he's in trouble he comes to me," Nathan said. He gave a wry shrug to indicate how well that had worked in this particular case.

If Sam was in big trouble, he'd go to Dean, so Nathan's assumption made sense to him. "Maybe he thinks you're hurt too. When's the last time you talked to him?"

Nathan took his time finishing off his drink before replying. "Kirby Plaza."

"Oh," Sam said quietly, looking a little guilty. "I take it then you don't know where he's been for the last few months either?"

"I barely know where I've been for the last few months," Nathan replied.

That got Sam's attention rather well, and he wondered if the puzzle of where Nathan had been matched the puzzle of where Peter was now. "What do you remember?" he asked.

"I woke up in a hospital," Nathan said. He tried to gather himself together because if any of what Sam said was true, he needed to be more on the ball than he currently was. "Ma told me Pete was dead and nobody knew what had happened to me."

"And you two never thought to wonder how you'd gotten to the hospital after the explosion?" Sam asked. "All of us thought you were both dead. It wasn't until Isabel figured out you were alive that things changed."

Nathan gave Sam a long look. He went to take another drink before remembering his glass was now empty. "Stranger things have happened."

"I guess," Sam said quietly, watching Nathan with his glass. "What are you doing here? In Peter's apartment, I mean."

"Probably the same thing you are," Nathan said. "Plus Ma was threatening to pack things up, maybe try to sell the place."

"She can't do that. Peter's still out there," Sam insisted. The sharpness of his tone might have had a little something to do with it being Angela wanting to sell everything. "I figured I could crash here until I find him. Do you mind?"

"Peter's casa es su casa," Nathan replied. He stood up - slowly and carefully - to bring his glass into the kitchen. "He would've wanted you here anyway."

"That's what I'd like to think too," Sam said, watching Nathan carefully. "Are you feeling okay?"

"No pain," Nathan assured him. He put his glass in the kitchen sink then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He took a long swallow of that before saying, "No need to think. I know."

"Are you staying here too?" Sam asked. "You're the only person Peter would want here besides me." Definitely not Angela, although Sam wasn't going to say that.

"For now," Nathan said. Mostly because going back to his place made him feel like he was supposed to be getting on with his life, and Nathan wasn't ready yet to do that. "Keeps Ma out."

"Then we can do that together," Sam said. "It really is good to see you, Nathan." If nothing else, Sam had more hope now than ever that Peter would be all right.


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