The Journal of Sam Winchester

(not Sammy)

i'm smug and satisfied
Sam Winchester psychic_wonder
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16 Unicorn Street, Thursday Evening
After spending his afternoon dawdling, Sam had finally gone to the house to start collecting the boxes of books he'd left behind. He hadn't expected to be waylaid by Grace, but he couldn't say no to a little sister who wanted him to play with her, could he? He wasn't in that much of a rush to get back, and it was a distraction from the random urge he was having to go walk in the woods.

[For the Winchesters and their guest!]

"Don't tell me you couldn't bear to be away from all those books," Dean drawled, leaning against the door frame and watching his siblings play amongst the boxes.

Sam glanced back and smirked at Dean. "Hello to you too," he said. "It turns out I have more space at Peter's place than I thought. And I missed you guys too."

"Course you did," Dean said, walking over and scooping up Gracie, making her shriek with laughter. "Because we're awesome."

"Hey, you're stealing my helper. She's been keeping me company," Sam said, laughing. "It's good to see you, really. How are things going?"

"Oh, y'know, same old, same old," Dean told him. "I'm missing my TA though."

"I've been missing my favorite teacher too," Sam said. "And Fandom in general. I don't know, I was okay last week, but I really wanted to come back today. It's kind of weird."

"What, New York?"

"Well, yeah actually, New York is kind of weird after a lifetime of living in small towns," Sam admitted. "But I meant the feeling I've been having, about wanting to come here. I...really felt like I should be here for some reason, not just to get my stuff."

"Told you, you should've spent the entire summer," Dean saidl

"Yeah, I know," Sam said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "That's not it though. I guess it doesn't matter though. What matters is that I'm here."

"You can still change your mind, y'know," Dean told him.

Sam was going to point out that that wasn't actually an option, when he heard knocking coming from the front door. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"I'm not deaf, so yeah." He headed down the stairs, still holding on to Gracie to go answer the door.

The walk from the gate in the woods had been a short one for Mary, mainly because she'd headed straight for where she could feel her boys were without stopping. The house looked lovely from the outside, and she'd spent a moment wondering how they could afford such a place before knocking on the door. When Dean opened the door, she had to marvel for a moment at how big he'd gotten before she could say anything.

"Hi, Dean," she finally said. A simple start seemed like the best way to go.

Dean stared, unable to believe his eyes. It couldn't... it had to be some sort of trick. But still... In a very small voice he asked, "Mom?"

"Look at you. You're all grown up," she said as an answer. "It's good to see you."

When Sam didn't hear Dean send whoever was at the door away, he went downstairs to investigate, and nearly stopped on the stairs, staring at who was there.

Mary looked over Dean's shoulder and smiled at her other son. "Hello, Sam."

Sam looked back and forth between Dean couldn't be her, it just couldn't. "Dean, what the hell?" he said quietly, not even caring if Grace heard the bad word right now.

Dean couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Is it really-"

"Yes boys, it's really me," Mary said. "I'm not alive, not really. It's like a gift, for all of us to get to see each other. This is an interesting place you've ended up at."

"It is," Dean said, still not moving. He wanted to believe it was really his mother so badly, but...

Realizing she was going to have to take the initiative, Mary took a step closer to Dean. "She's adorable," she said, motioning to the little girl in Dean's arms. "Do you give her tomato-rice soup when she's sick? Some traditions are too important to lose."

Dean felt his heart beat faster. "What would you reccomend as a lullabye?" he asked, voice all hoarse.

"'Hey Jude,' of course," she said. "Regular lullabies can't beat a classic."

That was enough to tip Dean over into full belief. He stepped forward and hugged his mom tightly -- or as tightly as one can when holding a squirming toddler.

Mary felt a bit like she'd won as she hugged Dean back. "I've missed you so much," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"I missed you too," Dean said, burying his face against her neck, the scent of her hair bringing back distant memories of feeling safe and loved.

Sam watched the two of them with a small bit of jealousy, but at the same time, he suddenly understood where the dreams might have been coming from, and the desire to be here. He needed to be here for his mom, if she wanted him to be.

Mary held onto Dean, gently rubbing his back as they hugged. "It's all right. I don't know how long I can stay, but I'm here now."


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