The Journal of Sam Winchester

(not Sammy)

i'm having a really nice time, i'm having a nice thought
Sam Winchester psychic_wonder
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Peter's Apt, NYC, Wednesday evening
Wednesdays were almost always one of Sam's easier days at school. He had lecture classes all morning, and then his whole afternoon was free, which gave him plenty of time to sit in the library and study. He'd managed to find a few other people from his classes who willingly studied in the middle of the week, and they'd sit together and chat while going over their notes and papers. It was completely geeky, and completely the kind of experience he'd been hoping to find at college.

Today though, Sam had been far too distracted by thoughts of Peter to study. He'd barely been able to concentrate in class, so instead of going to the library, he'd gone straight back to Peter's apartment to check on Scout and wait for Peter to come home from work. On his way inside, he'd grabbed the mail, and saw that their internet bill had come again. Taking care of that had been a good distraction from everything else on his mind, as was checking to see how much money he had left in his checking account. There was enough there to cover next month's bill, and if he got money for Christmas, he'd be all set for a while. The thought of being able to take care of Peter in some small way had made Sam feel really good.

Or, maybe it was just thinking about Peter again that had made him feel good. Sam was kind of easy at the moment.

He'd been about to put the envelope away with his books, to hide it with the rest of the old bills, when Peter had come home from work. The bill was forgotten as easily as the rest of Sam's stuff, and if Peter minded getting pounced on as soon as the door was closed, he certainly hadn't said anything about it.

[For the boyfriend!]

Peter hadn't minded. It'd taken an extreme amount of willpower not to leave work early so that he could pounce on Sam himself. So being pounced upon was more than fine. It continued to be fine when the pouncing moved back into the bedroom for a significant amount of time.

It was still fine later - much later - when Peter finally detangled himself and gave Sam a smile. "How about I get us some water?"

He was an EMT. He knew how important hydration was.

Hydration was important, of course, but Sam still tried to get his arm around Peter again. "That requires moving. Are you sure you want to do that?" he asked.

"No," Peter admitted. He tried to sneak in a kiss. "But Scout's not getting it for us."

"Well, I know what I have to train him to do next, don't I?" Sam said, kissing Peter back before letting him go. "All right, you can get some water. Just don't take too long."

"Only to the kitchen and back," Peter promised. He went to sneak one more kiss, then got out of bed to go to the kitchen as promised. He grabbed a water bottle for Sam and himself and made his way back to the bedroom. On the way he paused to take a swig from his own bottle. He noticed Sam's forgotten books and went to put them in the spot Sam usually left them.

That was when he noticed the envelope. "What's this?"

"What's what?" Sam asked, having laid back down, partly on his own side of the bed, and partly on Peter's. Peter's side was warmer, he'd swear.

Peter came into the bedroom. He offered Sam the other water bottle, then showed him the envelope he'd found. "This. I found it with your stuff."

Sam took the water bottle, and turned a little red when he saw the envelope. He fully intended to brush it off as nothing, but what he said instead was, "It's from a bill that came today." That was pretty much the last thing he'd wanted to say, actually.

Peter looked from the envelope to Sam with confusion. "I've never seen this bill before."

"It just came today," Sam said, thinking he might be safe until he blurted out, "I paid all the ones from before." He looked a little horrified, and put the water bottle to his mouth to try to stifle his quick swearing. "You weren't supposed to see that."

Peter had a lot of questions in response to that but he realized they all boiled down nicely to: "Why?"

Sam sighed and pulled his hands away from his mouth in resignation. "Because you won't let me pay for anything, and it doesn't feel right for you to let me stay in your apartment and not help out with something."

Really, this was time that could have been much better spent having more sex, island.

"What do you mean my apartment?" Peter asked. "It's ours. Yours and mine."

"No, it's yours. You pay the rent, you pay the bills, it's all yours," Sam said. He should have realized Peter already thought they were sharing, even though he was wrong. "I'm just your guest. Your very grateful guest, but still."

"Okay, first of all there's no rent to pay," Peter said, getting more annoyed by the moment. "I bought this place using my trust fund money."

Okay, Peter hadn't really wanted to go into those details with Sam but somehow they'd come out anyway.

Luckily there were other things for Peter to focus on. "You're not a guest! What, like you're only here because I'm really into hospitality?"

"See?! It really is your place!" Sam said, although he didn't really feel very vindicated. "I know you want me here just as much as I want to be here, but you won't let me help with anything. It's not fair and it's not right and it makes me feel really guilty."

"It's our place!" Peter said. "I got this for us! It doesn't matter who pays for things!"

That took some of the wind out of Sam's sails as he looked at Peter. "I thought...but you needed a place first. I know you wanted me to visit, but I thought this place was for you."

"Sam, I didn't look for things like plenty of room for books for myself," Peter replied. Actually he'd meant to say something more sarcastic but truth won out again. "I wanted a place that would be good for both of us. That's why I wanted your opinion when I got it."

"Then why won't you let me contribute anything?" Sam asked. "Besides where I want to put my books."

"Because you're in school," Peter said. "You should be spending time learning and studying like the brilliant guy you are, not worrying about bills. Especially not when I don't even have to work to cover it."

Again, Peter might have ideally liked to leave some details off, if it wasn't for the urge to be truthful.

Sam scowled at the reminder of Peter's wealth, as well as the fleeting thought that Peter not needing to work meant they could have a lot more time for sex if they really wanted it. At least the first thought kind of made sense. "I'm not worrying about this bill. I'm worried that you're going to think I'm taking advantage of you and all your money." He sighed again. "I just want to help a little, to feel like we're in this place together. The money isn't a big problem. I've got a bunch of people willing to pay me to write their papers for them." He'd feel bad about doing that, but it would be worth it to help out with the apartment.

"It's not my money," Peter reminded him. "It's Dad's. Considering how he got it I'm glad to use it to help people, especially you, Sam. I suppose I could give it all away, but it gives me a way to not have to go to college or be an over-achiever like Nathan. I can do whatever I want."

Huh. Apparently there was going to be all kinds of honesty today.

"Point being, you have better goals than I do. If taking care of the money stuff is how you'll let me help you with that, then I want to do it."

...and again with the honesty thing. Stupid island.

Sam frowned even more at all of that. "Peter, you spend all day saving people. How is that not a better goal than me going to school? I don't even know what I'm going to do when I graduate yet," he said. "I don't want you to take care of all of the money stuff. I want to help with something, anything."

"Why does it have to be money?" Peter asked. "Why can't I just take care of that for you?"

"Because money's real. It's normal," Sam said. "Normal people get bills and pay them and balance checkbooks and...and I don't want you to have to take care of everything. It's not fair to you."

"It's not fair to you to have to worry about money," Peter replied. "Can't we find a middle ground?"

"What kind of middle ground?" Sam asked, looking a little hopeful. "The internet bill's not that expensive, and I totally use it more than you do. That's why I picked that one to pay."

Peter thought Sam looked really cute and kissable when he looked hopeful. "I dunno. You're the smart one. Can't you figure it out so we can get back to having sex?"

That got a surprised laugh out of Sam. "I want to get back to having sex, trust me," he said. "Can't I keep paying that one bill? I'll try not to worry about how much money you're spending on everything else, and I'll try to think of this as our apartment." Try being the operative word there.

"That'll make you feel better?" Peter asked. "That one bill?"

Sam nodded emphatically. "It will. When I graduate and have a job I'm going to expect it to be more even whether you like it or not," he admitted. "But for now, one bill will do."

"Okay, one bill for now, and you'll stop calling this my apartment," Peter said. "I can live with that."

"And you'll stop worrying about taking care of me so much?" Sam asked. "I don't want you to have to worry about anything either."

"I love you," Peter said. "Worrying about you is part of the deal. But I can promise not to do it so much."

"I can accept that. Especially if it means you'll forgive me for not telling you about the bills," Sam said.

"I can if you promise not to hide stuff like that again," Peter replied.

"I'll try not to. I think that's the best I can do," Sam said. "I don't want to lie to you, but I get worried about telling you the truth sometimes." Like when he was being forced to do it. "I won't hide anything about bills though. That I can promise."

"Why do you get worried?" Peter asked. "I love you. I'll be here for you no matter what."

"I don't want you to stop loving me. I love you too, and I don't want to lose you," Sam said. He might not have needed a spell to admit that.

"You're never going to lose me," Peter said. He likewise didn't need a spell to say that, though perhaps Sam would be more likely to believe him because of it. "I love you no matter what."

Sam knew Peter meant it, and that was what mattered the most right now. Very, very tired of talking, he simply kissed Peter instead, to show his gratitude.

Peter was okay with that. Kissing was better than talking. Plus it led to more fun things that the two of them could do while naked.


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